Your Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Man’s Peter Parker is way too boring

Your Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Man is chock-full of interesting characters. Almost every single character on screen has a comics history, but even without the deeper lore, they’re just generally dynamic. For one, Peter’s bestie is now Nico Minoru, whose whole schtick hasn’t really been touched on, but she’s still an anti-establishment punk rocker ready to stick it to the man (in this case, OsCorp). Peter’s three fellow interns at OsCorp are all comic heroes, but even without seeing them masked up and in action, their big personalities bounce wonderfully together and they steal all the scenes they’re in.

Unfortunately, because everyone is so dang interesting, the character who ends up being the least compelling is Peter Parker himself.

[Ed. note: This post contains some spoilers for the latest episodes of Your Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Man.]

I want it on record that I love Peter Parker. Tobey Maguire’s take on the character was one of my first fictional crushes, to the point where before I even knew about fanfiction, I concocted a whole original story about a guy who just happened to be named Peter Parker. Andrew Garfield’s version of the character coincided with the era I was printing out pictures of my fictional crushes to put in my binders in high school. Tom Holland’s Peter was just a bit too young for me to have a crush on, but I still want to protect him, like a mother hen. And don’t even get me started on Spider-Verse’s take on the character, voiced by the incomparable Jake Johnson. In cartoons, video games, movies, comics, and theme park attractions, I’ve always loved Peter Parker.

So, when I say that Peter Parker is by far the least interesting character in his own new show, I do so with a heavy heart. I don’t want to have it out for Peter Parker, my special little guy, but man if he isn’t a bit of flat cardboard cutout of himself in this show.

For starters, this version of Peter Parker has most of his interesting edges sanded off. What’s always been compelling about Peter Parker to me is that he’s struggling; he lives in shitty apartments as he tries to be there for Aunt May, and yet he still goes out of his way to be a hero, despite all odds. The MCU already made its version of Peter a little peppier in his first introduction, since he had the financial backing of Tony Stark to alleviate a lot of the burdens.

But Your Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Man completely neutralizes any of Peter’s non-superhero tension. There are only passing mentions of Uncle Ben, and while there’s some hints that Peter’s definitely doing this OsCorp internship for the fat paycheck it comes with, the Parkers’ financial situation is mostly brushed aside. Yes, it’s mentioned here and there, but it’s also not there in any actual meaningful way that speaks to Peter’s character. Not in the same way as a beaten and bloodied Andrew Garfield finally showing up with the eggs he promised to get Aunt May. This Peter doesn’t have anything that makes him distinct or roots him as a character outside of Spider-Man; instead, he’s just being shuffled around other plotlines without much to anchor him to his own story.

This would be fine if everyone else in the show did not have a more interesting storyline. I could deal with sanitized Peter Parker if the entire show stayed in that territory. But when Lonnie Lincoln’s arc is about joining a gang in a misguided attempt to protect his little brother and realizing the deep ramifications that his decision has on the other people in his life, and when Peter’s friends Harry and Nico feel the consequences of his Spider-Activities more than he does, then, yeah, Peter’s going to feel bland.

Nothing exemplifies this more than the show’s recent block of episodes, which juxtaposes Lonnie’s descent into gang life with Peter’s ascent as Spider-Man (with the help of Norman Osborn). As Lonnie realizes that he’s basically signed himself away to a gang leader’s ambitious whims, his life begins to spiral out of control. He misses practice. He’s at the beck and call of the gang leader. He’s pushing away his loved ones.

Meanwhile, Peter is… trying on different suits, funded by a billionaire.

I get that on the surface level it’s supposed to be symbolic of the two of them trying on different identities. It would be one thing if the show presented Peter’s arc as wildly different and lighter than Lonnie’s; but as it stands, we’re supposed to view them with equal gravitas. And yes, there is the dramatic irony that Peter doesn’t realize Normal Osborn is a Big Bad Guy. It’s simply jarring to view a complex storyline about a young Black man who spent his whole life fighting against stereotypes only to find himself dragged into that world because he just cared too damn much about his brother with Peter’s billionaire-funded shopping spree.

This is not to say Your Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Man is a bad show. Far from it, especially with how the showrunners have taken minor comics characters and expanded on them while putting a new spin on some old and beloved ones. It’d just be nice if Peter Parker was one of them.

Your Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Man’s first five episodes are now streaming on Disney Plus. New episodes drop every Wednesday.