Kingdom Come: Deliverance 2’s latest update overhauls stealth mechanics, introduces barber shops, modding tools, and a slew of fixes

Kingdom Come: Deliverance 2 hath been Patched, Adorning the Right Goode RPG with the Wondrous Art of Barbering and the Dark Science of Steamworks Modding, together with Sundry Fixes for Quests, Crashing and Performance Problems, Skills and NPC Behavioure. Yes, I’m aware the previous sentence can’t work out which century it’s in. In a perfect world I’d have had the time to dig out a medieval dictionary and translate this introduction into proper 15th century English. As it is, you’ll have to make do with the one middle English word I can reliably remember from university: ywys! It means “indeed”. This latest Deliverance 2 update? A mighty addition, ywys.

The full patch notes are here. Be warned that they are long. Easily as long as The Canterbury Tales, and almost as exciting, because while The Canterbury Tales has more scenes of paramours accidentally kissing their beloved’s hairy bottoms, the Deliverance 2 patch notes have Chaucer beat in terms of minutiae such as “improved physics of the parsnip”. Here are a few other tweaks I enjoyed: “Shops no longer sell cobwebs”; “fixed looped drinking sound after being killed when drinking”; “fixed raining inside of a barn in Zhelejov”; “fixed the issue where a civilian would not stop banishing the player’s horse”.

As for the new features: you’ll find the above-mentioned barbers across Zhelejov and Kuttenberg. They operate out of festive white tents, and offer a range of period-appropriate makeovers. No textured drop fades, I think. The patch notes also make mention of some significant tune-ups for the pickpockets and cat burglars amongst you: Warhorse have “created new clothing and equipment specifically supporting stealth gameplay and rebalanced stealth stats for all clothing”. That said, “stealth kills are now more likely to fail”, and people now scream when they’re stealth-killed.

I don’t think I ever did any stealthing in Kingdom Come: Deliverance 2 unless required to by a quest. I had my heart set on being an upstanding citizen who improves his prospects by way of honest industry and charisma. Being nudged to “break playstyle” by a quest is one of the chief criticisms in my Kingdom Come: Deliverance 2 review, incidentally. Still, I’m happy that the shadow-hugging blaggards amongst you are getting some love.

Are you still playing KCD2, or have the draconic wiles of Monster Hunter Wilds lured you away from rustic Bohemia? KCD2 does have “dragon bones”, it must be said, though I’ve yet to work out whether they’re from an actual dragon, or what they’re even for beyond tantalising the Skyrim players.