Bauhaus Bonk is an energetic, lethal single-button arcade game set to a bopping swing soundtrack

I reckon you’re likely to be in one of two camps with precision platformer Bauhaus Bonk – which I instantly appreciate for giving me an excuse to use the word “bopping” – either finding it so easy you wonder what the point is, or getting genuinely sucked in by its deceptive trickiness. It’s a single-button affair, having you navigate levels by alternating a pivot-point on a shape I don’t know the name of so I’m just going to call a spinny stick.

There are moving background elements in some stages – in others, you make your own pace. Except I can’t really make my own pace, can I Bauhaus Bonk? Because the swing soundtrack makes me feel like a plodding buffoon if I’m not responding with appropriate gusto. This is entrapment, game. I am devishly compelled by swing, like a Reefer Madness extra.

“Spin to win in this single-player one-button dexterity game. Can you set a new time record? Complete the level using the fewest spins possible? Secure the global high score? Alternate which pivot-point you’re rotating around to move through 54 levels. Switch the background color to make obstacles disappear. Collect power-ups to speed up, slow down, shapeshift, or phase through obstacles.Reach the goal without hitting a wall”….

…is all the information we’re getting, says Steam. How minimalist of you, Bauhaus Bonk. How…unification of individual artistic visions with principles of mass production and an emphasis on function of you, Bauhaus Bonk. No, you just read the Wikipedia page on the Bauhaus movement. Leave me alone. I describe headshots for a living.

Speaking of headshots: Bauhaus Bonk nails some aspects I feel are absolutely crucial – and often overlooked – in games aiming for a similar sense of arcadey snackability. Firstly, when you fail, it absolutely hits like a failure – your spinny stick shattering into myriad pieces. Secondly, and perhaps most importantly, you’re thrown right back into the restart before you’ve even really had a chance to process it all. You are thus doomed to play once again, perhaps forever. Bauhaus Bonk is out February 6th, 2025.