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You can probably guess what my expectations were for Bears in Space. I’ll give you a clue: there were two of them and they both feature in the title. So I was surprised when, about an hour in, I was embroiled in a robot murder investigation. Having spent 60 minutes blasting the plasma-brained automatons that comprise the game’s basic enemies, suddenly I was among their ranks. Transported to a paper-strewn police station, I was asked to pick out a suspect in a perp lineup from behind a glass window.
Before you start thinking Bears in Space is a stealth sequel to Return of the Obra Dinn, I should point out its approach to deduction is slightly less refined than Lucas Pope’s classic mystery. The detective on the case states outright he’ll trust whatever decision I make because I look like I have a good eye. After 30 furious seconds of deliberation, I pick the robot with a cowboy hat and moustache, based on the principle that moustache = villain. The detective concurs, shouting “time to process this lot”. Moments later, a giant piston slams through the identification room, wiping out every robot in the lineup.
Honey, I blew up the robot
This was the first time I laughed out loud playing Bears in Space, and it was far from the last. I picked up this farcical FPS mainly to fill a gap in my gunplay calendar. The boomer shooter brigade has been short on ammo lately, having seemingly run out of ’90s classics to spiritually succeed, and we’re still a month out from Doom: The Dark Ages, the big FPS of 2025. Bears in Space, I figured, would deliver at least two things relevant to my interests. I didn’t expect to discover the most underrated shooter on Steam.
Admittedly, Bears in Space takes a minute to find its feet (or paws, as may be more appropriate here). You play as Maxwell Atoms, a ‘spacetronaut’ aboard the SS Ursine, whose DNA is accidentally merged with a bear’s when the ship is attacked by the Bearmada Alliance. After a botched attempt to flee via hyperquickness (think warp speed, but with an even sillier name), you instead abscond via escape pod to a nearby planet populated entirely by Robby the Robot’s deranged offspring.
Everything in these early stages, from the shooting to the humour, is a little limp, while some of the creative choices take a moment to adjust to. For example, I don’t know what you’d imagine a talking bear sounds like, but I doubt it’s an elderly woman from New York who has a stoma because she’s been smoking since she was five years old. But this is the voice Broadside Games chooses for your bear companion/alter ego Beartana, who offers moral support on your journey, as well as hints and helpful ‘bear facts’, such as their famed ability to double-jump and dash in midair.
But through sheer brute force, Bears in Space eventually caused me to crack a smile. It throws so many jokes at you that some are bound to land, and the hit rate increases the deeper you delve into the game. Beartana’s bizarre characterisation begins to pay off, assuming the role of a slightly disappointed aunt who knows Max is a bit of a failnephew but loves him anyway. What mainly lifts the humour, though, is how Bears in Space synthesises its jokes with that classic FPS-staple: secrets.
Each level is full of hidden areas, but unlike most shooters, Bears in Space goes out of its way to help you find them. That’s because these secrets are primarily comedy sketches the developer wants you to see. The identity parade is one of these, but another involves a fully playable game of basketcube (think basketball, but with more right angles) where teams of AI bots push and shove one another as they shoot squares on the court. There’s also one where you pick up a seventh birthday party invitation off a dead bot called Trevor, before you eventually stumble into the party itself at the end of the level.
There can be as many as a dozen secrets in a level of Bears in Space, and while not all of them are this involved, many of them are. And this is all sandwiched in between the gags and weird places you encounter along the game’s main path, which includes a jaunt through a literal arms factory, a scene where you become a human kaiju stomping tiny robots beneath your feet, and an ad-hoc game show where you need to find the red key for a talking head with a far stricter definition of “red” than usual.
Smarter than the average bear
Yet while the humour is what sets Bears in Space apart, it’s also a dependably decent shooter. Again, it takes a while to show its potential, as the retrofuturist laser pistol you start off with is a little weedy. But your arsenal expands quickly, and as with the secrets, demonstrates some pretty wild ideas. Weapons include a throwable propeller hat that can lift smaller enemies into the air, the aforementioned basket cube, which bounces around knocking multiple enemies over before it explodes, and the anvil launcher, which is an elastic band that shoots post-it-note-sized anvils. This initially seems like a joke weapon, and I suppose it ultimately is. It just so happens that the joke is entirely on your enemies.
On the subject of enemies, they are all weird, rickety cartoon robots. They could easily make for underwhelming cannon fodder, but the way a shotgun blast bursts them into a big puddle of oil lends Bears in Space the tactile gratification all shooters need. There’s also a pleasing variety to your foes, ranging from cigar-chomping turret bots that blast out clouds of green orbs, to stout mechanical pugilists who roll towards you with iron fists raised. When Bears in Space places a half-dozen bot types into an arena, it can be surprisingly challenging. You’ll bounce and weave through torrents of projectiles, juggling your weapons to thin their ranks.
Bears in Space definitely has its flaws. The level design lacks the intricacy of other indie shooters like Dusk or Prodeus, and the voice acting seems to be largely done by the same Australian man putting on different voices, which is mostly charming, but undermines some of the humour.
Nonetheless, what increasingly impressed me as I played was the generosity on show. The levels might not be geometrically complex, but they are all lengthy and stuffed with puzzles, boss battles, and all the aforementioned secrets. There are 23 different weapons, not including the upgrades you can earn for certain firearms, transforming how they function. Oh, and you can turn into a bear. This is supposed to be one of the main selling points of Bears in Space, as implied by the first third of its title, but the whole game is so weird and surprising that I forgot to mention it up until now.
At the time of writing, Bears in Space has less than 300 Steam reviews. While reviews are not a precise metric of copies sold, they do track fairly consistently, and this number would suggest Bears in Space has not sold well. Frankly, I think this is criminal. Where so many more successful indie shooters ape games like Doom or are inspired by Quake, Bears in Space seems beholden only unto its own, weird self. And while I love all those shooters with one foot in the past, we should not forget to celebrate games that aspire to be new and unique. And Bears in Space is nothing if not singular.
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Kurt Indovina
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