No Magic in this Mickey Mouse-Inspired Slasher

If you’re shocked and appalled by the notion of a slasher movie headlined by a Mickey Mouse lookalike, you must have missed Winnie-the-Pooh: Blood and Honey (parts 1 and 2), The Mean One, and Peter Pan’s Neverland Nightmare. We’re living through a flood of rushed-to-the-screen horror made possible by the public domain, parody law, and the fluke success of Rhys Frake-Waterfield’s buzzworthy “Poohniverse” (a.k.a. Twisted Childhood Universe), and it’s finally come for Walt Disney’s most famous creation. Unfortunately, director Alejandro G. Alegre’s I Heart Willie has less to offer than some of the blunders mentioned above: Its reimagining of Mickey’s Steamboat Willie persona (the first version of the character to lose its copyright protection) is overthought, undercooked, and not in the business of payoffs. It’s an exploitation of our familiarity with Mickey Mouse and little else.

William “Willie” Cross (David Vaughn, who also wrote and produced I Heart Willie) is a deformed German man rumored to be half mouse, half human, and the supposed inspiration for Disney’s pioneering effort in sound cartoons. He’s your typical slasher villain with a tragic history – a local legend with a habit of skinning trespassers – distinguished by the fact that he dresses like a paddle-steamer-piloting rodent. When a quartet of ghost hunting vloggers chooses Willie’s turf for their next episode, I Heart Willie flimsily sets up cheap flesh-flaying thrills that never stray far from convention.

Vaughn’s story mixes up a confusing cocktail of Natural Born Killers and Nosferatu, garnished with Hostel-style mutilation. Once paranormal investigator Nora (Maya Luna) confesses that she has a romantic connection with Willie, it’s clear that her colleagues are done for. She’s pulled toward Willie like an obsessed fan; they’re bonded by a past encounter, but this shared backstory lacks the clarity that’d smooth over the bumpiness with which it’s revealed. Similarly unpolished: Willie is a mouse boy who doesn’t look all that mousey. Aside from his milky eyes, it’s the gruesome burn scars that define the character’s design. His affinity for Steamboat Willie and cut-rate cosplay – black leg paint, ugly gloves, grimy white shorts, and flimsy mask – link I Heart Willie with its animated inspiration, but they’re hardly the makings of a murderous romantic lead.

This is a shambling production: The lighting levels are inconsistently balanced, causing twitchy auto-focus adjustments while the cast drone on and on. The editing is reckless and abrupt, cutting awkwardly away from the violent onscreen action and plowing any momentum I Heart Willie might have into a brick wall. The sound occasionally bottoms out, and the hum of background static sometimes downs out the dialogue.

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