Six-limbed ancient creatures and other deep-sea terrors showcased in Ark: Survival Evolved’s latest AI-driven gameplay trailer

What’s the going rate for a flight to attend GDC these days? I ask because I’d have loved to be buzzing my merry way about the convention walls when Snail Games USA unveiled this doozy of an AI-generated trailer for Ark: Survival Evolved‘s Aquatica expansion. I’d give it a solid nine on the “we’re not even trying to disguise it any longer” scale. How bad is it? Bad enough that original developers Studio Wildcard hastily and firmly distanced themselves from the project, reiterating that their focus was on ARK: Survival Ascended and Ark 2.

If I had to sum up the trailer in a single word, I would attempt to write that word out with four-day old regurgitated Alphabetti spaghetti, invariably failing to give voice to my flailing disgust before retiring to the corner to fart at god. This would still take approximately fourteen times more effort than whoever got paid to write “like the ocean, but worse” into their phone to tease out the following results.

Fans are understandably gobsmacked at the sheer gall of it, as am I, honestly. Nothing builds excitement for a new release like the company behind it proudly declaring they have no respect for the audience’s taste or intelligence. It’s especially jarring considering Wildcard recently revealed an animated trailer for their Lost Colony expansion by Jujutsu Kaisen studio MAPPA. Now, I’m no art critic, but I do enjoy limbs being shown in correct quantities.

If I can say one positive thing about the trailer, it’s that I’m actually nostalgic for the blooming synaptic flora shown at 0:43, because it reminds me of the very early days of GenAI-precursor DeepDream, a period where slop could at least have been said to have a distinct aesthetic rather than a distinct odour. I’m also tickled by the shirtless shark riding at 0:56 because, yes, it just looks like the cover of a smut novel about a guy who either fucks sharks or does all his fuckin’ on sharkback.

Ah well, there’s some comfort to be taken in the immediate and unanimous fan comment backlash at least. Wildcard haven’t been free of controversy themselves, mind, but I suppose we’re gradually becoming more wistful and appreciative of honest, artisanal fuck-ups in the face of the alternative. In the meantime, the demoralising assault from all angles on all facets of existence will continue until morale improves.